WHY I'M NOT THERE WHERE YOU ARE?

why i'm not there? i don't know. there are times that i can't even answer my own question. there are times i lose grasp to the words that may help me convey what i truly meant. my presence might not be there, but my soul is willing to be there.
where is that "there"? i don't know either. i just know that beneath the huge surface, i should be there.
when should i be there? i might not know the exact time frame but what i know is that today is not the right time to be there.


I might arrive late but I will see to it that sooner or later I will be there...

Hi Pink boy!
how are you? it's seems so long since I heard you in my mind. how's life going there at your line? hope you are doing well? 
why am i not seeing you anymore? i mean, i can't seem to track any sign of you...i'm almost near at the edge of forgetting all about you in no time. the memories i have about you is slowly diminishing from my head --- the way you stare, the way you stand, the strong stage presence, the color of your almost-everyday-shirt, your hair that falls fiercely on your face and almost everything. actually, i should be happy since i came to the point where i have thought of how great the idea of not seeing you at all. and now you were gone.
but to be honest, i wanted to see you even just a quick glimpse from afar. i think that would gratify me to know that you are okay and doin' great. 
no, i won't even wished to be part of your life anymore. i'm already done with that wishful thinking. i just wanted to see you even just for a while and that's it!
i'm just disappointed with the turn-out of the events. i thought you were different...it would be nice to know that you are still holding on and keeping in touch with the people who can direct and guide the right path where you should be. 

i made my second blog account yesterday where i intend to invest some of my stuffs especially photography. the blog account is much more serious that this one since the attack is more mature in  its approach, theme and the topics per se. but the question is: will i delete this one and focus myself with the new one??...NO.NADA. i didn't even thought about it! 

"this blog is and will be my first love". 

(scene from last kiss)

(from happysad gallery)

i never thought of this until now. but lately i noticed that life is sometimes unfair...well, i guess most of the time!, *sigh*

back to zero...but i'll never regret saving all the dignities and confidence in me...

i miss seeing you in pink!

heaven knows what to say

eventhough for right now you're so far away

i hope and i pray

somewhere in your heart i always stay

- without you; charlie wilson

looking forward for my independence day!

"i can't take my eyes off you

i cant take my mind of you...

til i find somebody new..."

- blower's daughter; damien rice

i often heard this song from kuya mark's (my officemate) playlist since he is the only one who has a speaker in his desktop inside our cubicle...well yeah, this song has another tear-jerker melody and a melancholy lyrics and i'm used hearing this kind of songs but this one brings a totally different aroma in my ears everytime it is being played...

there is a little voice within me that's telling me how much he misses photography, film and editing...

and he sobs in silence as i continue to ignore him!...

"VOX POPULI, VOX DEI"

- VOTE WISELY! IT IS OUR SOLE RESPONSIBILITY TO CHOOSE OUR FUTURE LEADERS!:)

"Honestly, I'm scared to get too close to people. It seems that everytime I get close to someone, they always have a reason to leave later. Maybe its fate teaching me that life goes on, or maybe I just trust the wrong people."          

 - grabbed from 365 thoughts

i'm confident that i didn't trust wrong people from my past but maybe i just got too attached to them that i cant face the word goodbye. 


i got hold of this feeling almost a dozen times before...but now when i felt the feeling again...its quite different, much like it stepped into a whole new level.


for weeks, i was deeply affected when my friend resigned from her position. she was indeed my closest friend in work and that was my first encounter of goodbye in my workplace...and up to now it saddens me as i passed by her empty chair knowing that no one could ever fill that place like she does when she was still there...

"nothing good is easy to get...the hardest things to leave are the hardest things to work for..."

our last class project together for our film production class. halata ba na puyat kami?!!wala pa ata kami tulog niyan kaya nangingitim ang mga eyebags namin and medyo maputla kami...hahahaha but it's all worth it 'coz we grabbed the title "best documentary" for "kapit sa patalim" against other entries. i miss this gal...she's one of my best bud and business partner up to now! hope to catch up with her soon!...HAPPY BDAY CHE!:) mwahö

What a wonderful life I've had!  I only wish I'd realized it sooner.  ~Colette

- yeah i have a great life...so why should i ruin it?!! there are million things to look forward to and be thankful for!:)

all of a sudden, the thought of going to bohol this year became our topic. glen agreed to the idea but he has to secure his expenses since he hasn't able to graduate last march...(kasi naman, bakit kasi kinalimutan yung mga back subjects, history at p.e na nga lang eh, daig mo pa ang engr ah! hahaha). kennette will come for sure,,,yun pa! hoping anna and jawo will be there too and the rest of our perks!...pero pakiramdam ko it will just boils down to two or three of us going there. -excited- :))

wala na ba talaga ako magagawa pa?...

wala na bang makakapantay at di na ba dapat pang maghintay?...

kumakapit sa natitirang sana...

                                                       - sana; up dharma down

ayoko na ikwento ang bawat details na nangyari last friday...parang mas gusto ko nalang i-linger yung bawat seconds sa memory ko...(pero ganun pala ang feeling after seeing each other again for almost a year,,,sobrang nag-subside na!)