WHY I'M NOT THERE WHERE YOU ARE?

why i'm not there? i don't know. there are times that i can't even answer my own question. there are times i lose grasp to the words that may help me convey what i truly meant. my presence might not be there, but my soul is willing to be there.
where is that "there"? i don't know either. i just know that beneath the huge surface, i should be there.
when should i be there? i might not know the exact time frame but what i know is that today is not the right time to be there.


I might arrive late but I will see to it that sooner or later I will be there...

Hi Pink boy!
how are you? it's seems so long since I heard you in my mind. how's life going there at your line? hope you are doing well? 
why am i not seeing you anymore? i mean, i can't seem to track any sign of you...i'm almost near at the edge of forgetting all about you in no time. the memories i have about you is slowly diminishing from my head --- the way you stare, the way you stand, the strong stage presence, the color of your almost-everyday-shirt, your hair that falls fiercely on your face and almost everything. actually, i should be happy since i came to the point where i have thought of how great the idea of not seeing you at all. and now you were gone.
but to be honest, i wanted to see you even just a quick glimpse from afar. i think that would gratify me to know that you are okay and doin' great. 
no, i won't even wished to be part of your life anymore. i'm already done with that wishful thinking. i just wanted to see you even just for a while and that's it!
i'm just disappointed with the turn-out of the events. i thought you were different...it would be nice to know that you are still holding on and keeping in touch with the people who can direct and guide the right path where you should be. 

i made my second blog account yesterday where i intend to invest some of my stuffs especially photography. the blog account is much more serious that this one since the attack is more mature in  its approach, theme and the topics per se. but the question is: will i delete this one and focus myself with the new one??...NO.NADA. i didn't even thought about it! 

"this blog is and will be my first love". 

(scene from last kiss)

(from happysad gallery)

i never thought of this until now. but lately i noticed that life is sometimes unfair...well, i guess most of the time!, *sigh*

back to zero...but i'll never regret saving all the dignities and confidence in me...